Today they are more of a sport than self-defense. Still, many of the self-defense systems have roots in the traditional martial arts, and learning an art can be fun, rewarding, and great exercise, while learning some techniques that can be effective in the street. Just be mindful of the differences and shortcomings and complement your training accordingly.

Unfortunately, we parent the way our parents parented us. If you stop and listen to yourself while you’re talking to your kids, you may just hear your mom’s or dad’s voice – saying the same things you heard when you were a kid.

And that’s a problem when it comes to internet safety. We parents didn’t receive those parenting skills. Sure, we learned things like “Don’t talk to strangers”, but nothing like, “Don’t open spam email” and “Be careful phishing attacks.”

So here’s what your teen needs to know:

The internet can be a very dangerous place. You will get a lot of eye-rolling on this one. But the fact is, kids are too trusting, and the bad guys know that. They will con your kid faster than you can dial 911. Explain how the world isn’t always what it seems to be and how this is especially true on the internet. Ask your teen to stop and think: Can he/she really be sure the “Melissa” he/she met online the other day really is female? Probably not.

Pirating software is illegal. And it can cost you a lot in fines and legal fees when your teen gets caught. Yes, everyone does it. But if everyone raped and pillaged, would it be ok if we raped and pillaged, too? And just because no one is watching, does it make it ok to steal? Here’s what you can do: Bring your kid to 7-11, wait till the clerk is not looking, then tell your teen to shoplift. Chances are he/she will be repulsed by the idea. (If not, skip this column.)

Cyber bullying is also illegal. Terroristic threatening, character assassinations, hate crimes, etc. can also land your teen in jail and invite the evening news crew to your doorstep. In the comfort of our homes and especially closed bedroom doors, we are lulled into feeling no one is watching. We may even adopt false identities online to remain anonymous. Explain to your teen that all this is false. The truth is, we can uncover everything your teen does online. We can retrieve every email. We can find out what she has done. So don’t do anything stupid, unfair, unkind or illegal. Eventually people will find out.

It’s tough to erase that sexy MySpace pic. By this I mean, what you do online generally stays online long after you’ve done your best to delete it. I long for the old blackboard and chalk days when you could right something silly on the classroom’s blackboard and safely erase it before the teacher arrived. The internet is digital and – ironically – digital stuff is often very hard to get rid of because it propagates through the net so easily. Tell your teen not to do anything which may jeopardize 10 years from now a job interview, college application or marriage proposal.

One click can ruin a perfectly good computer. Well, it’s not as dramatic as that. But the truth is the internet, and sites catering to teens in particular, are rampant with viruses and other malicious software. And as I mentioned earlier in this column, teens are juicy online targets because they are generally too trusting AND because they typically feel utterly invincible. (We were that way, too, remember?) The message is this: Stay away from ghetto sites, delete all spam – don’t even open them up – avoid all links in emails, and don’t download anything. Period. Or you may have to bring your sick computer to one of service centers…

Here are two facts I consider vital pieces of information:

A. In general, martial arts are great for the vast majority of children.
B. Almost all martial arts claim they teach self-defense.

You can’t really go much wrong in my opinion, if you pick a reputable martial arts club or school for self-improvement, discipline, fitness, improving gross and fine motor skills, setting and reaching goals – as well as a host of other positive things – for your child!

Self-defense however, is a different matter all together.
Consider some of the things it entails: Awareness; social skills; communication skills; evasive maneuvers; defensive, offensive and passive tactics; kicking, punching and grappling; stand-up and on the ground; short range, medium and long range; softer and harder; one on one and group situation; third party interventions … the list goes on and on.
Furthermore – is self-defense automatically the same for children as for adults? I would dare say it is far from it by any standard!

I have always enjoyed children, but teaching them martial arts did not come naturally. If you told me after my first attempt at teaching the little cretins that I would found my own children’s’ martial arts school, I would have thought you were crazy. I discovered quickly that children learn quite differently than adults. After ten years I have learned a great deal in how to work with kids. To be more exact, they taught me how to work with them. If I can just be myself with them, have fun and follow a few simple rules everyone has a great time. Though, I specially love when the parents get caught up in class and start shouting out the answers. The people I am talking about know who they are!

Teaching martial arts to children is for some automatically a bad idea. They think it is about violence. To bring a child who may or may not be having a behavioral problem to a school where they will learn to punch and kick does not make sense. But the truth is very different. Discipline, self control and respect are imbedded into every lesson. In the Pouncing Tigers classes the students learn to listen more carefully and respond respectfully. And they do it with a smile. They don’t realize they will improve at school work, get along with others more easily and work harder at everything they do. Even children with developmental issues like ADD and ADHD excel when they participate in a good martial arts program. I’ve seen it with hundreds of students over the years.